What can I say?

I am not MJs personal :
Gardner
Piano Tuner
Floor waxer
Tool Polisher
Toy Tester
Music Note Tuner
Car seat adjuster
Clothing counter
Photo Frame Painter
Shoe Buckler
Wind Chime Hanger
Aircraft wheel scrubber
Taxi Fare Payer
Kleenex Box opener
Lawn Height Monitor
Shopping Cart Wheel Aligner and Balancer
Camera Lens Crack Reduction Manager
Zoo Manager
Sushi Prep Disciplinarian
And many more…

And I thank God for not knowing him in any way shape or form…But I can write a book and sell the movie rights about it and appear on TV for claiming I am not and make unending fame and fortune from it!